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Three Little Words

Developed by Bea and Jim Strickland

John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus and several other Mars and Venus books, says that the most important thing that a man can say to his wife is "I love you" and the most important words that a wife can say to her husband are "Thank you." That is, he says, because women want love and men want appreciation.

But that is his opinion. What is important for your relationship is your opinion. What are the most important things that your spouse can say to you? By the way, there is much more to a relationship than talking to your partner. For example knowing what not to say is important and so is when not to talk. But for this exercise we are talking about the little positive phrases that can add so much to a relationship.

Step 1. In the following list, indicate beside each phrase how important it is for you to hear that phrase from your partner -- "check" whether or not you are hearing that phrase now.

Indicate with a V - very important, S - somewhat important, L - little importance

Add any other phrases that are important to you and indicate their importance.

Step 2: Review your partner's paper. Sit "knee-to-knee" and discuss -- especially the surprises.

Step 3: In the rightmost column of your partner's list , check three phrases that you can and will add to your relationship vocabulary.

Discuss "knee-to-knee."

                                                                          

Keep your partner's paper as a reminder of your commitment to add these phrases to your daily conversations.

Use the phrases that you agreed on, and try the other phrases too.
You'll be amazed at how these little words can improve your relationship.